There’s an ad on our website this month that caught my eye, but not because I wanted to reply to it, although I’m sure they’re very fuckable people! Rather, it was because of one of the sentiments that’s expressed in it. It’s in the Couples seeking Couples section and it’s from a couple in their late twenties and early thirties who are looking to explore their boundaries.
What caught my eye though was this phrase in the ad - We’re both looking to have a bit of fun before kids – Now, maybe it’s because I don’t have kids, but my initial reaction to this was a bit of sadness at the thought that people might want to be involved in swinging but that they felt that as soon as they did have kids, they’d have to go back to monogamy. Pretty quickly though I realised that this is what it’s like for a lot of couples. Over the years, through Debauchery and Saints and Sinners, my wife Deb and I have met a huge number of couples who, to various degrees, have become friends and acquaintances. As time goes by, we sometimes see less and less of them, and sometimes they disappear completely, either for years on end, or forever. If they do return to the scene, it can be 2,3,5 or even more years later, and it transpires that they took a break because they had kids and it just became too difficult. Now, I can understand that some people think you can’t mix family life and swinging, especially in the early years, but with a bit of effort it’s definitely achievable. Having a ready-made babysitter in the grandmother obviously helps, but it’s also possible with a reasonable degree of planning. My former PA, Roxy, has recently had another kid but that’s not stopping her getting out and about, and friends of ours from northern Victoria had their first child about a year ago but are now stepping back into the scene. The point I’m making is that having kids doesn’t need to be the end of your swinging life, but it probably means you’ll have to make a few modifications.
In particular, you might want to be a little more careful than one couple we met. Deb and I were away on holiday a few years back and met a couple in a pub. We got on well, and they asked us back to their place to play (even though we’d offered to use our nearby motel). It was the middle of winter, and we were fucking in their lounge in front of the open fire, when I realised I needed to take a leak, so I headed off in search of a toilet, only to run into a 4 year old girl asking for her mummy. Thankfully I’d put on enough clothing to cover the important bits but it was a little nervewracking nevertheless. I guess the moral of all this is, don’t be afraid to keep playing the scene after you have kids, but be a little careful!
I’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who’s helped with the production of our website or any of our parties this year, and in particularl Di and Nina, and I look forward to seeing many of you at our parties over the next few weeks. Please come up and say hello, especially if I haven’t met you before.
Finally, Deb and I wish you all a great Xmas and a wonderful New Year, and we hope to help you enjoy yourselves throughout 2009.