I first became involved in the swinger’s business over twenty years ago.
At the time I was working as a foreign exchange dealer for one of the major banks – a job that’s about as far removed from the sex industry as you could imagine. My swinger’s involvement then was mainly as a ‘consumer’ of the services, if you like, in that I was just starting to get involved in foursomes with other couples, together with my casual fuckbuddy of the time.
Once I began doing Vixsin, I also got more and more involved in the Melbourne party scene, initially trying to improve our Saints and Sinners Balls, and then the Debauchery swinger’s party that’s now run every third Saturday, and following that up with our website, which is currently undergoing a radical overhaul.
All of those things, collectively, are about trying to improve the ability of the swinging public, to connect with other people who have the same interests and desires. In other words, it’s a people business, and it’s been one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever done.
True, I am doing the job I would have dreamed of when I was 13 years old (why didn’t my school guidance counsellor recommend I do this?), but it’s so much more than that. What I really enjoy about being in this business is that it changes peoples lives, and generally for the better. This thought came back to us again a couple of months back, when we got a lot of calls from people who’d come along to the last Saints and Sinners Ball, and had such a good time that they made a point of phoning and thanking us – that’s the kind of thing that you don’t get at the National Bank dealing room, I can tell you.
Most people who decide to dip their toes into this scene don’t do it on the spur of the moment.
These couples have usually spent months talking about the possibility, discussing what they want to do and don’t want to do, perhaps buying a magazine or two, or checking out a couple of websites, before finally, nervously, picking up the phone and calling our office, or maybe just slipping us an email.
About a month back, I received an email from a woman asking for some advice. Her husband had broached the subject of swinging with her, and she was very uncertain about the idea, a quite natural reaction for many people.
She’d found details of Vixsin on the web and asked me a whole series of questions about swinging, and what her husband might be looking for. I tried to explain it all as rationally as I could, explaining that the fact that he’d talked to her about it and hadn’t screwed around behind her back was actually a very good sign. We had a good exchange of emails, until the final one where she made it very clear that people like me “who make it easy for married people to commit adultery were scum, and sure to burn in hell forever.
So, yes of course, there are some couples for whom swinging doesn’t work, and never will, but I think we also help them find that out in as easy a way as possible too, so that their curiousity is satisfied, without screwing up their relationship.
Without wanting to sound corny, we know that we owe it to everybody to make the journey as gentle as we possibly can. For a start, it’s simply good business – there’s no point in scaring off your potential customer base for no good reason. But there’s also a bonus that I hadn’t expected, when I first got into this (and no, it’s not all the extra blowjobs I get!). Rather, the bonus has been the quality of people we’ve met in this scene. My wife and I have often talked about the fact that some of the best people we’ve ever met in our whole lives have been through swinging.
It’s always seemed to us that, as a general rule, there are less dickheads per hectare in the swinging scene, than out in the real world.
Maybe that’s because the religious nutters tend to avoid us.